


Five Times Jace Almost Kisses Simon (&He Says Fuck You), and the One They Kiss (&His Fuck You Turns into an I Love You)

by charjace



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 14:28:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15865470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charjace/pseuds/charjace
Summary: also known as, jace doesn't know how to deal with his feelings so he pushes them away





	Five Times Jace Almost Kisses Simon (&He Says Fuck You), and the One They Kiss (&His Fuck You Turns into an I Love You)

_♡ One!_

There was a party, a stupid high school party with stupid high school cliches. Stupid games of seven minutes of heaven and drunk teenagers. He had just watched as Clary walked out of the closet with a red tint to her cheeks, her head hanging a little low in embarrassment, who was followed by a smirking Maia who walked over to him and the pair high fived. He knew Maia had been wanting to get with Clary for a little while, and was happy that she at least  _got_  something from this party that his girlfriend was hosting. Kaelie walked over with the bowl that had the names in it, she knew all the names in the bowl - and who were the ones meant to draw and, well he was surprised that she handed him a folded up piece of paper, or that she was wanting him to play.

“Pretend like you drew it out,” She says in a whisper into his ear. She and Maia shared a look, and he thought that he knew who it was, it was going to be her.

Because, of course the host of the party would rig the game to get their partner or crush, but... he ‘pulls’ out the piece of paper, and the name  _Kaelie_  wasn’t there. “Simon.”

He takes a quick glance at his girlfriend, then to his friend by his side. Simon looked up, flashing a grin towards them when he heard his name. Jace watched as the smile faltered off of his face, when he noticed the piece of paper in Jace’s hand. “Rules are rules, you two, closet now,” Kaelie spoke, before pulling Jace out of his seat and pushing him into the closet, and Simon wasn’t too far behind. “Seven minutes start now!”

The door closes, and it’s dark within the small room. His heart was picking up, and he was feeling something that he’s never felt before. It feels like hours have gone by before Simon reaches out to place his hands on top of Jace’s shoulders.

“Dude, relax,” Simon says, his tone so  _chill_ and unwavering like they weren’t in this tiny space. “Wait... you’re not afraid of small places are you? Kaelie wouldn’t do that to you, right?”

“I’m fine,” The words fall off a bit harsher then he had intended them to be. “Shall we, you know, kiss?”

Jace’s hands go to find Simon’s face, fingers just smoothing over the other’s jawline, and it’s calming, like when someone would run their fingers through his hair. He leans in, ready to press his lips to Simon’s but is surprised once again, when the brunette pulls away.

“What? I’m not good enough for you?” Jace asks, defence lining the words he spoke. Hands falling away, arms crossing against his chest.

“No! You have a  _girlfriend_  Jace,” Simon retorts. Didn’t he get it? This was a game? You’re suppose to kiss in the closet, that his girlfriend didn’t even give an excuse for Jace to not go in the dam closet.

“Fuck you!” Jace says, and walks out of the closet, not caring that the seven minutes weren’t up. Jace storms out of the house, and takes himself home on his bike

 _♡ Two!_  

A few years later, he was at a club with his brother and his now fiance, Magnus made Alec happy, and that was all Jace will ever want for his family. Their younger sister was going to med school in the state over. He misses her sometimes, and he misses Maia sometimes. It seemed that night of seven minutes in heaven worked well in her favour as her and Clary started dating a month after, which was also when he and Kaelie broke up.

He loves spending time with Alec and Magnus, but, sometimes they’re too sappy for him - like tonight and he just wishes that he could be like that. But, he’s single - resorting to one night stands that make him feel like shit every time they happen. So, he’s up at the bar downing his fifth drink for the night.

Each step he takes, a little crooked much like the smile that plastered upon his lips. Hips swaying to the music that plays on in the background, the lyrics nothing to him as he feels like he’s the only one in the room. Especially when he sees a set of brown eyes looking right at him. He doesn’t take note of the frown that the other was sporting, just puts his arms around the brunette’s neck when they’re close enough.

“Dance with me handsome,” Words slurred as they were spoken, but Simon doesn’t seem to be having any of it, as he removes Jace’s hands from around his neck.

They haven’t been this close in a long while, and there is something aching in Jace. He’s not sure what it is, but he is pretty sure it’s the reason he let’s Simon walk him out of the club. Simon tells him that Alec knows where he is, and Jace is being put into the passengers seat of a yellow van.

Simon buckles Jace in, and Jace just wants to kiss him. He  _knows_  that is what he wants to do, so he leans over to press a kiss to Simon - anywhere would do him at this point. Yet, Simon had moved as he had finished with securing Jace into the seat, pulling away and closing the door.

When Simon gets into the car, Jace promptly gives Simon the finger, “Fuck you Simon.”

The brunette lets out a sigh, and Jace just closes his eyes.

_♡ Three!_

He and Maia in his living room, each laying on a couch looking up at the ceiling and the patterns. The patterns seeming to moving, and is that him or her giggling. He doesn’t know.

“Oh shit!” Clary’s voice came through, causing the pair to look over at redhead, who was followed by Simon.

“Maia, you took the wrong batch,” Simon spoke, grabbing the container of brownies and Clary places a similar container but with a pink lid.

Jace sat up, a laugh leaving his lips as he looked over at the pair. “Always knew you two were pothead nerds,” He spoke.

“And you’re high,” Simon replies, giving a shake of his head. 

A big grin spread across his lips, “Wow. C-Can you stay?” Jace has been drunk before, knows how to deal with himself drunk. But, he’s never been high.

It’s such a weird experience, but he watches as Simon gives a small sigh, “Sure. Clary is going to take Maia home. I’ll stay with you.”

“Yay,” Jace says, and Maia whispers - or attempts too, “ _Get ‘em boy.”_ as she leaves with Clary.

Simon puts on some music, and makes them something to eat. Jace just stays on the couch, and listens as Simon talks to him. Hours pass by, and they’re watching a movie. Jace is feeling a bit more like himself, and moving he notices that Simon was sitting next to him.

Just a simple kiss on the cheek, that is what he’ll give Simon in return for staying. Maybe he was staring too long, because Simon turned to look at him. “What are you staring at? Do I have something on my face?”

“Uh...” He shakes his head, no, Simon didn’t have anything on his face. 

“Jace? Are you okay? You look more spaced out then before? Clary took the pot brownies.”

Why was he getting defensive? Jace pushed himself away, “Get out! Fuck you, I’m perfectly fine!”

Simon leaves, confused but respects Jace’s wishes.

_♡ Four!_

It was nearly four in the morning, when he was out in the winter air. No jacket, just a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Not even a pair of shoes as he walked the street with no set destination. He doesn’t know where he was going to go, just that he needs to get away from all those thoughts in his head.

“Jace!” He heard his name called out, turning to look at source. Seeing a familiar brunette, he felt a small smile tug at his lips. “You have  _got_ to be freezing.”

Simon starts to pull off his jacket and put it around Jace’s shoulder. Who put it around himself, “It  _is_  a bit cold out. What are you doing up at this hour?”

“I’ve been working on a new song, got stuck into it, just saw the time and was going to get something to eat. Want to join me?” Simon replies, hitching his thumb behind him to his van.

Jace gives a small smile, “I would.”

“Wonderful,” Simon is giving a big old grin, and they’re climbing into his van. They find a twenty four hour dinner and order some fries. Simon ordered a milkshake to go with his fries, and Jace didn’t say anything as he watched as Simon dipped his fries into his milkshake.

Nearing five am, and Simon was going to drop Jace off at his place. Simon was being a gentleman, and opened the door for Jace. Or well, it  _did_  have a bit of a problem getting open, so Simon opened it for him.

They were close in proximity as Jace goes climb into the car, and their eyes meet and it feels like it’s a moment out of a romantic movie. If he just leans in, and - Simon got a call and stepped away to answer it. The call finished, and Simon went around to the drivers side. Opening the door, Simon looked at Jace through the gap as he climbed in.

“Who was that?” Jace asks, a foot in the door.

“My girlfriend,” Simon replies, and Jace  _knows_  what he does next is childish but he still does it.

“Y-... Fuck you!” Jace says and closes the door, before pulling out his phone, “I’ll get Alec to take me home. Go to your  _girlfriend_.”

_♡ Five!_

“You’re a fucking idiot,” Clary says as she takes a seat next him.

“What?” Jace asks, head tilting a bit as he looked at her. “Why am I an idiot?”

“Because you can’t deal with your fucking emotions, that’s why,” Clary informs him, “You know, if you just tell him you like him, instead of  _fuck you_  - he might understand.”

There was a light scoff coming from Jace, “I don’t know what you mean, or who you are talking about.”

“Yeah... sure you don’t,” Clary says with a roll of her eyes, “Come on, let’s go back in time and play spin the bottle!”

“No, the last time I played a childish g-,”

“You got rejected by the one you wanted to kiss, yeah, I know the story, Maia told me.”

Jace sputters a bit, that was  _not_  what had happened, had it? No, he was in a relationship at the time and Simon was respecting that. But, why did he get so angry about it?

“Fine, no spin the bottle but, look Simon is over there, go talk to him,” Clary is gesturing to the male who was across the room, talking with his girlfriend. “You’ll find what we all hate about her.”

Letting a huff out, Jace stands up and goes over to the pair. His girlfriend, he found out her name was Camille and something  _already_  didn’t feel right with her. She kind of gave him a feeling like his father had when he was a kid, that never lead to anything good.

He noticed how she  _always_  had a hold of him, or was touching him in anyway. Like, he was some kind of possession she had and no else could have. So, when she walked away to get a drink Jace took note of how Simon visibly relaxed.

“If sh-,”

“She hasn’t done  _anything_ , god, has Clary and Maia filled your mind about her? I just fucking fell down the stairs at work,” Simon replies, and Jace knew instantly that it was a lie.

He knew those kind of lies all to well. “ _Bullshit_  Simon,” He says as he reaches out to move Simon’s shirt a bit more to see the bruise better. Stepping closer, Jace can see the fear in Simon’s eyes. His hand, goes up to caress Simon’s cheek. “Hey, I  _know_  what it’s like. If sh-,”

“She isn’t hurting me,” Simon’s tone a hushed one, “I’m clumsy, why d-,”

Jace has had enough of it, he just wants Simon to shut up, so, he leans in to press a kiss to Simon - but, he is pulled away and Camille is glaring at him.

“What were you trying to do with my man?” Camille demands, loud enough that everyone turns to look at them.

“Nothing! Why are you such a bitch?” Jace retorts, arms crossing against his chest.

“You were going to kiss me,” It was Simon’s voice, so, he’s finally caught on has he?

“Fuck off, I wasn’t, and fuck you and your fucking piece of shit girlfriend for thinking I would do that,” Jace’s defence and denial mixing together to make a bad cocktail. He storms out, but not without flipping them off.

_♡ + One_

It midnight when there is a knock upon his door, groaning he pulls himself out of bed as he goes to answer the door. He doesn’t expect who is standing at his door. Crossing his arms against his chest, he looks Simon over and notices a bruise upon his cheek and a busted lip. Tears were in his eyes, it’s been a few months since he meet Camille, and since he stopped going near Simon for any reason at all. An excuse at the ready for why he couldn’t go.

“I-I know you don’t want to be near me, but, you were closer,” Simon says in an almost whimper.

Jace decides to let Simon in, but still, he doesn’t say a word. Simon takes a seat upon the couch and Jace follows suit after closing his door. “Maia said she has tried to tell you, but you would shut her down every time me or Camille were brought up. So, we broke up a month ago. It had gotten so  _bad_ , Luke was called and I broke up with her. But, just now, she found me and... god, she had it out for me. She just punched me, and I didn’t know what to do. Some passer by stepped in, and I just... I ran.”

Still, Jace hadn’t said anything, he just gave a small nod of his head. He was glad that Simon was out of his situation, and he goes and grabs an ice pack out of the freezer, and hands it over to Simon.

“Can you say  _something_ ,” Simon pleads as he place the ice pact to his face.

“What do I say? Congratulations for getting out of an abusive relationship? Abuse sucks ass Simon, you had friends who were going to pull you out. You had a  _cop_  you knew, a lawyer in hand. I’m not... I’m not saying it’s easy to... get out of it. I just... I know abuse is hard to get out of. My father, he would hit me and I  _know_  what it’s like,” Jace says, a soft sigh. “What do I say Simon? That it’s going to be okay because I can’t promise that it can be.”

“Jace... tell me why you hate me, but still spent time with me,” Simon says.

“Hate you? Why would you think I hate you?” Jace asks, and maybe if he looks back on all his behaviour he could see why Simon might think that.

Simon lets out a small laugh, placing the ice pack to the side. “Oh I don’t know, I mean, the first time we properly meet was in a closet and you said  _fuck you_  because I wouldn’t kiss you.”

“It was a game Simon, we were allowed to kiss,” Jace cuts in.

“You had a  _girlfriend_ back then Jace, I’m not a homewrecker. Then, there are plenty of times, where out of  _no where_  you just tell me;  _fuck you!_  and I don’t understand it, what’s going on Jace? Do you hate me, or not?” Simon questions, tilting his head, in that adorable way that he does.

Jace reaches out to wipe away the dried tears that had fallen down Simon’s face, “See things li-,” Simon’s words were cut off by Jace’s lips pressed against Simon’s in a soft kiss.

“God dammit, fuck you Simon,” Jace whispers, resting his forehead against Simon’s. He hears Simon chuckle a little, and Jace smiles widely. “I  _love_  you Simon. Have for a god dam long time. I just...”

“You suck at emotions and feelings, I know. So... all those times you said fuck you? You meant  _I love you_?”

Jace just laughed a little, and gives a small nod of his head, “Fuck you.”

“Fuck you too,” Simon replies in a soft tone, before going in to kiss Jace.


End file.
